Narwhalapotomus

Don't be panic

When over three years ago I saw this video, I never thought I would ever be doing this. There's something very alluring about terrible grammar done for amusement. I've watched it way too many times, and this is proof.


So that's cancer. Yes, cancer that can be happened anywhere in the body.

Oh how adorable the "number one killer disease" is. And that's a fact.

Bad Habit

And you might say it's self-indulgent
And you might say it's self-destructive

I've fallen into abuse again. It distracts, it comforts, it hurts. It hurt so, so well.

Over ten hours of nothing but knitting. Pure wool. My fingers are tender and red.


But, you see, it's more productive
Than if i were to be happy

Pain is my only reason to knit. Knitting is how I take out my undue anger, my frustration.

I wait

I wait. It's been well over 24 hours.
I feel myself in need.
You said you'd keep in touch.

My fingers drum on the table impatiently.
I wait.
Could something have happened?
Where the hell are you?

I wait.

You're too preoccupied now, is that it?
Though it's understandable...
I wait, growing anxious.
I'm a nervous wreck.
My neck turns at every possibility--
"Is it you?"
No, it's someone unimportant.
But still my heart beats threefold,
"it could have been you."

I start pounding my fists on the table, like a ravenous animal
like an addict in withdrawal.
I need you.
Greed creeps over me, then anger, then fear.
Abandonment.
It's been well over a day...

I wait.

I've never had to wait.
Much less this long.
Worry... despair.
I wait.

My drug of choice so quickly torn from me
and there is absolutely nothing I can do.
You're so far away, so distant
so many things could have gone wrong
so much rides on this moment yet...

I wait.

Deep breaths...
deep breaths...
Until I realize--

Frustration.
Fury.
Outrage.

I need you.
I'm going more insane with every passing second.
My insides churn
my muscles convulse.
I cannot sit still.

I fidget, biting my nails to the bone.
Tapping my foot erratically on the floor

Is this what betrayal feels like?
I take every opportunity to check
"Are you still alive?"
I wonder.
I wait.

I'm picking myself apart without you.

And all you have to do is say hello.
like you goddamn promised.

Distraction

Obviously not scanned, but a photograph works fine with this. Too much to think about as of late, a distraction was quite lovely.

Asco's lament

It is quite unfortunate that I have been unable to do (digital) art (and post it on here) as of late. As probably everyone who actually reads this already knows, I've switched to Ubuntu 8.04 from Windows XP, due to various technical reasons and most likely shall not go back. Though things are working their way towards being better than the times of WinXP, they are not quite there yet. There is still mucking to be done and late night depressive crying to be had.

Therefore, I'm quite upset to inform everyone, art is not on its way. School, unfortunately, is on its way. Or it's on someone's way, but I'm not sure whose. However, I might be posting some writing soon, I hope. Maybe when the scanner starts working there will also be some sketches and doodles and all things traditional and lovely and not amazing and photoshoppy. Until then, no art no longer...

When my ambitious little self makes things amazing again, I promise there will be photoshop works from the unstable clutches of WINE. I promise you there will be ladies with digitally smooth skin, I promise that one day, perhaps not as far off as it may seem, I will deliver!

But you know... that will take a while. *sob*

EDIT: There are no drivers for CanoScan 4400F for Ubuntu, or any other distro for that matter. Fuck. :(

Tabby

I wanted originally do a portrait of something else, but I couldn't find any good reference pictures and for this I blame Grant for always seeming to get in the way. Then I started listening to Regina Spektor and for some reason looked up her picture. And at this point I really did want to draw her, but I decided against it. Instead, I drew Tabby!


I did copy/reference Regina Spektor's pose on the cover of Begin to Hope, but this definitely is not Regina. This is Tabby, the personification of my Wacom Intuos 3 tablet. See the logo on her cap? Yup, she's a Wacom alright.

I wish scanning colored pencil didn't make it look so incredibly grainy. I thought it was pretty smooth on paper. :(

EDIT: When I start doing Tabby stuff, I can't stop doing Tabby stuff. Here's a sketch!